Well I received some interesting comments regarding last Thursdays post. So I thought I should follow up a bit. First, I am not depressed, nor am I considering leaving. The feelings that I expressed in the post were true and valid, even if somewhat reactionary. My friend Sean wrote me a very concerned (and very long) email regarding things that I'd said and he had some great points...so Sean, I hope you don't mind if I quote you.
"I have to believe that the things we do no matter how small or trivial they might seem at the time add up to make a big difference."
Absolutely! There is no job too small and no detail unworthy of attention. I lost sight of that for a while on Thursday.
"i know you didn't post to put these thoughts in my head but rather just express the thoughts you were having that day. but it happened. i dont think its a bad thing at all. quite the opposite in fact because it just hit me that I'm right where I'm supposed to be or at least close. alot closer than just a few years ago. deep down i feel like I'm doing what God is calling me to do and I'm trying my hardest to do it the way he wants and the absolute best that i can for him."
That's exactly it. Knowing where you are supposed to be and being there is an amazing thing. Part of my problem on that day was wondering "Is this what I should be doing?" I never questioned (in my mind) the necessity of those things (cuesheets, postcards, graphics) being made, I just felt like maybe someone else should be doing them so that I could be doing something "greater." I can totally see the error in what I posted. I have to remember that I'm not to important to do anything. The very fact that God allows me to serve Him in the most menial and humble of ways is a testament to His incredible Grace, "for I am a man of unclean lips and I live among a people of unclean lips..." I'm so proud of my humilty! =)
There is no task below and no detail to small for a leader. There is an appropriateness, however, in serving mostly in the ways that you are gifted and called. Pavarotti may have been the best floor polisher the Met had ever seen, but his true gift would have been wasted. I do not mean to imply that I'm gifted in any way like Pavarotti, but the principle applies to us all: focus on what you're best at and that which produces the most benefit.
A week later (with cuesheets and chordsheets still to be done), I feel very comfortable in the reality that I'm now doing some things that will not always be my task and in doing so I take away from the things that I do best and that produce the most benefit. BUT, that doesn't diminish the value of those tasks. I also know that a little bit of discontent can be a very good thing.
Still far from content...
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After reading the post again and actually thinking about it and now your response. I think i figured it out. In my first reply i may have jumped the gun with a few of my thougths. Most of them I would still say are true. Its just the word "Discontent". When i first read it I instantly thought of it as being something negative and thats not the case. If we were all content in were we are and with the things we do life would get pretty boaring. Nothing new or great would ever happen. Im fairly certain that God doesnt want us to be "content". I would bet it actually makes him happy for us to be "Discontent" so that we keep reaching and striveing to be better in everything we do. No we will never (not in our wildest dreams) reach the greatness of God. But we should all try to get as close as each one of us can. To be content I think would mean we have quit trying. Now realizing that nothing great will come from being content im glad to know you havnt just settled and you are "Extremly Discontent".
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